


Classified Information

by Peter164



Series: Little!Anxiety [1]
Category: Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Autism, Autistic Logic, Babysitting, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Hair-pulling, Little!Anxiety, M/M, Makeover, Making Out, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pastels, Secrets, Thumb-sucking, Touchy-Feely, does this count as hair pulling, dont care, not sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-09 15:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10415094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peter164/pseuds/Peter164
Summary: A love of coloring and cartoons. A passion for rom-coms. The memorization of the dictionary and a fascination with classic literature. An intense adoration of drag queens. We all have things no one is allowed to know. But if your partner finds out, if they're any good, you'll never live it down.





	1. Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> I have so much shit I need to work on, but fuck it I'm making this.

Anxiety was curled up in a pastel pink blanket covered in purple butterflies. If anyone asked why he actually owned this he just said it was soft, which it was, but that's only part of the reason he liked it so much. He would never admit to anyone that he had a Tinkerbell sippy cup filled with apple juice that was currently sitting on his nightstand. A box of crayons sat on his bedspread along with a Frozen coloring book. He was coloring in a picture of Anna in her coronation dress and her hair tied up while his left thumb stayed in his mouth. Animaniacs played quietly on his tv. He liked being a little kid, it took a lot of stress off his shoulders. Being small made him feel happy and safe, almost peaceful. The only thing that would make it perfect is if someone could actually take care of him like a little kid. He didn't want to get his own apple juice or get himself goldfish and fruit snacks. He didn't want to get his own blankie from it's hiding place in the closet. He wanted to have someone kiss the top of his head and hand him his sippy cup. He wanted tickle parties and snuggles when he was sad. He wanted to be warned to use both hands when drinking out of grown up cups in case he spilled. He wanted someone to put bows in his hair and have tea parties with him. But no one was allowed to find out about his odd interest in childhood. 

At one point he had actually thought about telling someone, until he thought about his options. Roman would most likely break up with him the second he mentioned it, and Anxiety couldn't handle losing his rock. Patton only had a clue about dad jokes and affectionate hypocrisy, he wouldn't even know what Anxiety was telling him. Logan was out immediately. He was so far out of the question that Anxiety even brought up the concept once. He asked about the idea that maybe some people acted like kids because it comforted them.

"Do you mean age regression?" He responded, "It's a freudian concept of the ego not being able to handle life as an adult, so the person retreats into childlike behaviors. Such behaviors can include bedwetting, sleeping with stuffed animals, sucking on objects like pens or fingers, refusing to partake in adult activities like driving. Is that what you're thinking of?"

"Kind of, yeah. Thanks." And that ended that conversation. 

Of course Thomas knew. Sometimes Anxieties habits bled into Thomas's routine, he watched kids movies, snuggled with a blanket, ate cereal for dinner because he didn't feel adult enough to work the stove, and ordering pizza was for grown ups. But there wasn't much Thomas could do to help his situation, at least he didn't mind. 

Anxiety set down his yellow green crayon and picked up his green crayon to color in her top. He had just touched the crayon to the paper when Roman opened the door and walked inside. His eyes were locked on a book and he was babbling on about something that Anxiety was too red to pay attention to. Prince glanced up from his book only to double take at the situation. He looked around the room and Anxiety quickly paused his cartoons. His hands were shaking and he buried his face in his blankie. He was doomed. 

"Anxiety, what exactly are you doing?" He leaned against the doorframe. 

"Uhm, coloring?" He squeaked out. His breathing was shallow with his nerves.

"I can see that. I was more referring to the sippy cup and the butterfly blanket and why you look like you like both Tinkerbell and the color pink." He said, he tucked his book under his arm.

"It calms me down to act like a kid." He shrugged. He refused to look up from his lap, but he heard footsteps and the weight on the bed shifted, suddenly Roman was holding his cheeks and pulling his face up to look at him.

"Look at how red you are under all the white foundation." He smiled, "Now I do believe that most children require a parental figure, would I be right to assume that this child's no different?"

Anxiety was on the brink of nervous tears, but he nodded a little.

"Then move over so I can sit with my baby." He said. Anxiety shifted to the side and let his boyfriend sit next to him. Roman gently pulled him onto his lap and pointed to the top of Anna's dress, "This is black, not green. I've watched the movie 47 times, I should know. I only say because it seems like you're going for the accuracy approach not the creative approach."

Anxiety began to color it in black. Roman took the remote and turned on Phineas and Ferb instead of Animaniacs. Anxiety was a little shocked at his response, he almost didn't hear him when Roman asked if he wanted more juice. He nodded and he felt the weight shift behind him. 

"I'll be back in just a moment." The prince promised. He kissed the crown of his head and stood up. He walked out of the room with his sippy cup. Anxiety's thumb found its way back to his mouth as he began to relax. When Roman re-entered the room, he was holding not only the Tinkerbell cup, but a white plastic box and a smaller black one. He looked up and reached his hands out for his juice. Roman handed it to him and reminded him to use both hands to keep from spilling. 

"What are the boxes for?" He found that his voice was higher without really trying, softer, less articulated, like a little kid. He sipped at his juice and wondered what could be in the boxes.

"A special surprise that I think you'll like a lot." He sat back down on the bed and told him to turn and face the tv. Anxiety listened, even though he didn't want to turn away from his newfound caregiver. Fingers stroked his hair out of his eyes, gently, not pulling or tugging, just pushing it away from his face. He heard Princey pop the lid off one of the boxes. Arms wrapped around his waist and Roman urged him to pick one. Anxiety looked down at the black box in front of him filled with hair clips. Some looked like bows, some flowers, some had little plastic strawberries and pineapples with little faces on them. 

"I also have these." Roman held out a few headbands. One was pink with a big polka dot bow on it, one was a flower crown with little daisies and baby's breath, the third was thin and looked like gold vines and crystal flowers. It looked like something a bride would wear. The last was an honest to god tiara, diamonds and sapphires made intricate designs on the silver band. Anxiety picked the tiara, he felt like he wanted to be a princess for a little while, so he decided to be a princess. Roman adjusted the crown on his head and turned Anxiety to face him. He kissed his nose lightly.

"You make a much prettier princess than I do. That's why I'm the prince." He smiled and made Anxiety blush at the compliment, "Pick a color." 

He held out the white box full of nail polish and let Anxiety look through it. He picked out a soft pink and a gold glitter. Prince smiled and began to paint his nails. He asked him about his favorite princess (Elsa), did he need any new stuffed animals (always a yes), what was his favorite color (either pink or black depending on his mood), was he always a little kid or just sometimes (sometimes). Then he brought up something that he wasn't sure would be exactly appropriate, what was he to Anxiety when he was little.

"Can you be my daddy? You don't gotta, but I really, really want you to be. I think that can be a little weird sometimes though. When I'm big you'll just be Roman." He asked shyly. Roman blushed but nodded.

"I can be your daddy even when you aren't little if you want." He smiled awkwardly. Even with the mind of a child, he could tell he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea.

"Only if you wanna." Anxiety grinned. He had someone to finally take care of him, and he was actually becoming more like a child than ever before. He wanted his thumb in his mouth, but the nail polish was still drying. Roman was gently holding his fingers as he swiped the top coat over his nails, "You're not allowed to tell Mom and Dad. They'll think I'm weird."

"I wouldn't dream of it, my princess." Roman smiled and made Anxiety giggle, "All done, my dear. You have to wait for it to dry so be careful." 

"Okay." He said as the Prince carefully set his things on the floor by their bed. Roman kissed his cheek lovingly and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, "Don't we gotta clean up?"

"I'll clean it up later, let's just stay here for a moment." He said and pulled them back onto the bed. Anxiety rolled onto his side and asked for his stuffie. Roman gently pulled the crown off his head, making him whine, "Don't worry, precious one, you can put it right back on when you get up."

He stood up and grabbed the stuffed rabbit that was sitting on Anxiety's desk. He crawled back onto the bed and handed him the rabbit and his blanket. Anxiety smiled and rested his head on Roman's chest. Prince had draped the pink blanket over his shoulders, his rabbit was tucked under his arm and he soon fell asleep. Roman ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. Without warning, Logan entered the room. He didn't ask any questions about what was going on, he just slowly nodded.

"So that's why he asked me about age regression. That took me much too long to deduce. That must also be why he calls me Mom." He muttered to himself, "I came to tell you that Morality would like to have what he calls a family dinner. And also please tell Anxiety that I am open to help with whatever I can. We're here to help each other, he shouldn't feel the need to hide things. Especially not if he needs someone to help him." 

"I'll let him know. I didn't even know about it until just a little bit ago." Roman said. He was more jealous than he should've been when he discovered that his boyfriend trusted Logan more than him. Logan nodded and left the room. Anxiety was quietly snoring on his chest. His thumb was resting between his lips. Roman was sure he fell in love all over again.


	2. Logic

Anxiety swung his legs while he sat on the counter. Logan was slicing up a cucumber for him to eat as he was tasked with caring for him while Roman and Thomas bounced ideas around. He was aloud to stop when Anxiety "grew up" or when Roman got back, whichever came first. 

"Momma, can I please have some juice?" He asked. 

"Of course you may. However, I still don't understand why you insist that I am your maternal figure." He filled up the plastic cup with apple juice and screwed on the lid. Anxiety took the cup and drank his juice happily. 

"Well I've already got my daddy, and you and Papa are boyfriends and all papas need to have a mom too, it's the rules. So you're my momma." He explained in his childlike voice. Logan was learning how to take care of the boy slowly and with effort. He was learning which cups he liked and which ones he didn't, he knew the names of all his stuffed toys, he knew his favorite cartoons, foods, disney princesses, even when to let him sit on laps or play pat-a-cake or give him piggy back rides. He had kind of been adopted as a mother by Anxiety. Patton walked into the kitchen and grinned.

"How's my favorite little one doing? Is Mom doing everything the right way?" He joked, walking up to him. Anxiety nodded. He was still shy around Patton's big personality, but his shell was opening up.

"I am no one's mother." Logan muttered to himself. He placed the cut up cucumber of a plate and helped Anxiety off the counter. Patton sat with him on the carpet while they watched Mulan and played little games together. 

"Hey, Anxiety. What do you call an alligator in a vest?" Patton asked, Logan rolled his eyes. Clearly alligators could not wear vests and thus you would call it impossible, but Patton would find a way around that and frustrate him. He always does.

"I dunno." Anxiety shrugged.

"An in-vest-igator." Patton said, he made Anxiety giggle to himself. Logan knew it would happen. His stupid jokes made him want to scream, as did most of Patton, but he always stayed. Turns out it's hard to end a relationship with someone keeping what was essentially a child happy while his favorite parent was gone. Patton just wanted to love, and the scene in front of him made a little warmth seep into his heart and make him smile. Roman swept into the room and made Anxiety's entire face lit up, he stood up and ran over to him. Roman enveloped him in a hug and kissed the top of his head.

"See, my princess? Not gone for more than a couple hours. Was Logan good to you?" He asked. Anxiety began listing everything they did together.

"But we're watching Mulan. Can we finish it before we go?" Anxiety rocked on his feet.

"Of course, precious one. As long as Logan says that it's alright." Roman smiled and looked over to the teacher.

"Feel free to continue. Patton and I will venture away if you don't mind." He said. Roman gave them the okay and Logan grabbed the still waving Patton's hand and walked out of the room with Anxiety saying goodbye to his Momma and Papa. Logan shut his bedroom door behind them and felt his heart sink a little.

"Are you okay, sugar biscuit." Patton wrapped his arms around Logan's waist.

"Why does nobody believe I can parent a child? I seem to be doing just fine, and yet all I hear is doubts." Logan said. Patton was the expert on emotion, if anyone could help it was him.

"Oh, angel cake. You're doing such a good job. I'm sure Anxiety would agree with that, I was only joking with him. You know how to take care of him better than I do most of the time actually, and you know that Roman just gets protective. He feels like he needs to make sure his baby is thriving and he doesn't feel comfortable risking that by any degree. He always comes to you, so obviously he trusts you enough to make good choices." Patton explained to him. 

"Why are you always right? It's silly of me to worry." Logan still felt upset, but at least he had some closure. He put his arms around his boyfriend's neck. 

"It's very silly, animal cracker." Patton kissed him. Logan's hands drifted to his cheeks, "You wanna watch a movie to think about something else?" 

Logan nodded and quietly moved to sit on the bed. Patton sat and looked through a box of movies. Logan prefered disks, much nicer and neater that way. He wasn't really paying attention to him until he found his secret box. Logan nearly killed himself trying to take the box from Patton before he could look inside. 

"What's in it? Are they your _adult films_?" He asked.

"Patton, what do you think those are?" 

"Films that adults watch." He answered.

"Well, you're not wrong." Logan shrugged, "And we are not watching anything from this box."

"Logan." Patton leaned over and whispered to him, gently pulling him closer, "You are so precious to me. I love you so much. You know that, I know you do. I'd never do anything to hurt you."

He kissed the skin behind his ear and pulled the box out of Logan's hands. He managed to get it open before Logic could take it back. He grinned as he gazed upon the treasure trove that was the secret box. _50 First Dates_ , _Blended_ , _Sixteen Candles_ , _Crazy, Stupid, Love_ , _10 Things I Hate About You_. Logan was frozen in fear. Patton shrieked with delight at his findings and tackle hugged Logan, pinning him to the floor and covering him with kisses. 

"You are so adorable!" He shouted, "We're watching all of these together."

Logan was still too shocked to speak. Luckily he didn't have to, seeing as Patton was already playing _Blended_ and pulling Logan up onto the bed with him. Patton snuggled up against him and kissed his cheek. It took half the movie for Logan to relax enough to chuckle at the jokes, but by the end he was laughing right along with his boyfriend. As usual, there were frequent kisses from Patton. It was like he was in a permanent state of touch starvation. He needed to know every inch of Logan's skin with his mouth just as much as his fingers, he got upset when he couldn't touch for too long. In the beginning it almost scared Logan. He didn't like the feeling of hands and lips on him, he didn't initiate physical contact. At one point early on, he had made Patton cry when he said he didn't want to be touched. But they survived and they were happier for doing so, and Logan was getting more and more lenient as time went on.

Logan was not the sentimental type, but something about watching Adam Sandler fighting and proceeding to fall in love with Drew Barrymore with his partner made him feel nostalgic. He thought about the first time they kissed. Patton got excited and grabbed whoever's face was closest to his. That face happened to be Logan's and he ended up dazed for a few days after that. They were something special, a couple that always fought and yet never even disliked each other. They helped each other through mental hardships. Logan's autism made it extremely difficult to have anything but entirely literal conversations. Patton helped explain simple metaphors and figures of speech to him to keep him out of social trouble. Patton's ADHD kept him from focusing, working hard enough, or even just remembering obvious things. Logan kept him from getting too far off track, steering him gently back in the right direction, he reminded him to put pants on in the morning, or to wear his glasses so he can see. Two halves of a whole. 

Why was a silly movie about an African honeymoon making Logan reevaluate his entire relationship. He leaned over and kissed the top of Patton's head. He looked up and him beaming.

"You actually kissed me! I didn't even initiate anything! Look at my little jelly bean go!" He bounced up and down and held his face in his hands. Patton rested their foreheads together with his eyes closed, "I love you."

"I love you too." Logan smiled. Such rare words from him that Patton began to tear up. 

"Really?" He squeaked. He was grinning and had his hands balled into fists by his face, "You really mean it?"

"I really do." He promised. Patton flung his arms around his shoulders and hugged him, peppering kisses over his cheek. 

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." He repeated like a mantra. Logan carefully returned the hug and asked if he wanted any cookies, "That sounds good. I'll go get some cookies. Pause the movie for me."

He stood and walked out of the room. He returned with an armful of cookies and was about to sit back down on the bed when Logan shooed him off. He sat down on the floor at the foot of the bed. No food was allowed in his bed, a fact that Patton often forgot. Logan crawled over to still be next to him. Patton kissed him one more time before the movie started up again. Logan had seen the movie more times than he could count, so he didn't really watch, instead turning his attention to Patton's hair. He curled his fingers through it, pulling and combing it back. He buried his nose into his hair and just breathed him in, he grabbed careful fistfuls of hair, making it stick up in every direction. Patton turned around and pressed their lips together and held his face. Logan's fingers were tugging the back of his hair. 

"You like my hair a lot don't you, honey bear?"Patton asked. Logan nodded and pulled him back in for another kiss, "Can I come back on the bed with you? I finished eating."

"As long as you don't get any crumbs on the bed." He said. Patton cheered and climbed up on the bed. He settled down between Logan's legs and rested his head on his shoulder, his back against Logan's chest. Patton nuzzled his nose into his neck and hummed quietly.

"Can we have a pajama party again, please?" He asked.

"Remember last time? Thomas needed us and we showed up in our pajamas." He reminded him.

"Because we were fighting. We've been really good lately." He begged, "Please, snicker doodle?"

"Alright, fine. We can have another pajama party." Logan rolled his eyes. He had a ridiculous soft spot for his partner. Patton kissed him and thanked him. Logan hated himself for it, but he really did love the big idiot.


	3. Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got just a tad bit sexual on accident. But I don't think it could've been helped.

Roman had no idea what he was doing. He had dozens of packages spread over his counter and he knew what maybe one thing did. This was a terrible idea, why did he want to do this again? He was actually considering asking for help, but he didn't know anyone here that could actually help. He felt a little bit helpless, but he'd been wanting to do this for months now, time to commit. Thomas got his makeup done once, so he knew that foundation went first. He picked up the biggest brush he had and decided to just dive in.

"Roman, why is your door locked? Your door is never locked." 

He was partially relieved and partially screaming internally. He opened the door slowly to find Anxiety standing in the doorway. 

"Hello. Need me for anything?" He asked.

"Do I have to need something?" Anxiety said, "I just wanted to see you."

"Maybe we can go watch a movie in a few minutes?" He offered.

"Roman, what are you up to?" Anxiety crossed his arms and looked at him accusingly. 

"Nothing at all." His voice got higher.

"Liar. I'm coming in." Anxiety pushed him to the side and walked inside his room. He walked into the bathroom, "Hey, Princey why do you have all this makeup out?"

"Oh, well, uhm-"

"Roman," Anxiety put his arms around his neck, "I suck my thumb and drink out of sippy cups, you can't weird me out."

"I sort of wanted to see what it felt like to be girly. So I decided to try some makeup on, but I don't really know how to do any of this really." He scratched the back of his head. Anxiety rolled his eyes and pulled him into the bathroom. He moved some of the supplies and sat on the counter. He pulled him closer and wrapped his legs around his waist. He picked up the two containers of foundation and put a small amount of each on the back of his hand. He mixed them together in the middle and held his hand up to his face to match colors. 

"What are you doing?" Roman asked.

"Finding your foundation shade." Anxiety told him.

"You do makeup?" 

"Are you fucking stupid?" Anxiety just looked at him.

"I meant that you know how to do more makeup than just smudging black under your eyes." Roman clarified.

"Yes I do. Someone has to keep all the information Thomas learns from the makeup tutorials he watches at 5 in the morning. And who better to take care of his guilty pleasures?" Anxiety explained, "I'll be right back I'm going to get some extra stuff."

He came back with a very odd assortment of things. A teardrop shaped sponge, glue, glitter, eyelashes, tape, and two tubes of liquid lipstick. He sat back on the counter and started blending foundation on Roman's face. His legs went back around his waist, keeping their faces close together so he could see what he was doing. Roman could tell that Anxiety was trying so hard to be gentle. He was patting the sponge on his skin after swiping another product under his eyes. Once he was all blended out, Anxiety brushed powder over his face. 

"I didn't add primer, so ignore the fact that it's not perfectly smooth." He said, "You can turn on music if you want."

"Can we listen to Disney?" He asked. Anxiety rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but only because I like you." He said, tapping the end of the brush against his nose. He picked out a wine colored eyeshadow and a tiny pencil brush. Roman turned on the music.

"You just like me?" Roman teased.

"Shut your fucking mouth." Anxiety smiled as he said it, countering every bit of malice in the statement.

"No really. I'm curious."

"Little Anxiety loves you with all his heart, you are the center of his entire world." Anxiety's cheeks turned pink, "However, once we get to big Anxiety, I tolerate you."

"Says the boy with his legs wrapped around me and likes it when I bite his ears." Roman whispered to him. For effect he took Anxiety's earlobe between his teeth and made him whimper. Anxiety playfully pushed his shoulder. 

"Careful there, Princey. Keep doing that and I won't be able to finish before I pin you to the bed." Anxiety said.

"And you just tolerate me?" Roman kept teasing.

"Of course. What gave you the idea that I had any other feelings for you." He kissed him and told him to close his eyes. 

"Nothing at all, little one." Roman smiled.

"Isn't that little Anxiety's pet name?" He asked as he blended out the eyeshadow in his crease.

"Yes, but now it's your's too." Roman said.

"You're hopeless. I'm putting tape next to your eye just so you know, so you might be little uncomfortable while it's there. It shouldn't be too bad, but let me know if it's too much, because there's another thing I can do to get the same effect, it just takes a little longer." Anxiety explained. He took a fluffier brush and the same wine color and started blending. When he finished he took a brown eyeshadow and blended that over the deep purple. Anxiety quietly sang "Someday My Prince Will Come" to himself as he blended.

"Oh, my dear. Your prince is standing right in front of you. He arrived long ago." Roman smiled. Sadly he couldn't see Anxiety's cheeks turn red, but he could hear the squeak in his voice when he told him to be quiet. Anxiety announced that he was peeling the tape off now and he could open his eyes if he wanted. Roman did and watched in the mirror as Anxiety pulled scotch tape off his eye. It tugged at his skin, but Anxiety was gentle enough that it wasn't even uncomfortable for him. He loved seeing the messy, haphazard line become clean and straight and perfect. He gasped a little.

"It's so nice to watch isn't it?" Anxiety smiled. 

"My god, yes." Roman said. Anxiety put tape on his other eye and repeated the process, "So, this is an odd question and probably not an alright thing to ask, but I feel like we never really discussed this and it needs to be discussed. When you're little, does that mean that there's no relationship anything that happens?"

"Well, you're still my boyfriend if that's what you want to know. As for like kisses and sex and stuff, a general rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't do it with a four year old, probably not a good idea." Anxiety explained, his voice dropped, "But if you like me calling you daddy, then I'm more than willing to accommodate that."

Roman whined, his knees shook a little. His hands found their way around to Anxiety's back and started dipping down.

"God, you just can't keep your hands to yourself can you?" Anxiety chuckled. Roman shook his head.

"How can I when I have such a lovely little thing sitting so prettily in front of me?" He asked, "As soon as we're done with this, I'm getting you out of those clothes."

Anxiety pulled the tape off his eye again. He switched to a pink eyeshadow and pat it over both his eyelids, "I think you like being my daddy."

"I do. I like having a little baby to love." Roman smiled. 

"I'm putting glue on your eyelids, so don't open your eyes unless you don't want to blink for a while. Don't freak out, it's made to be eye safe." Anxiety said, "And I get to ask a question now. Why do you want to pretend to be a girl?" 

"I don't know, makeup and dresses and high heels are just so pretty, and I think it would be fun to look so pretty." Roman explained. Anxiety pat pink glitter over the glue and started on mascara, directing Roman where to look. When that was done he put glue on one of the fake eyelashes. He handed it to Roman to let it dry while he started contouring.

"Here comes the smoulder." Anxiety said. Roman imitated the iconic expression and Anxiety started contouring his cheeks. He added a touch on his forehead and the tip of his nose and proceeded to take the eyelash back and place it on his eye. He put glue on the next eyelash and handed it to Roman, this time opening the liquid lipstick up and applying the warm, rosy pink to his lips. He added a gold to the center of his lips and showed Roman how to blend it out by squeezing his lips together.

"It feels like my eyelashes are lifting weights." Roman whispered to himself. Anxiety started laughing embarrassingly hard, "I'll have bodybuilder eyelashes."

Anxiety almost fell over laughing so hard. Once he calmed down enough he placed the next eyelash on his lashline. 

"Okay, you'll like this part. Watch in the mirror." Anxiety told him. Roman watched his reflection while Anxiety dipped his brush his the chrome-like powder. He brushed it over His cheekbones and Roman nearly stopped breathing when he saw the highlighter. 

"I want this, but my entire face." He said. Anxiety smiled and picked some of the highlighter up on his finger. He added it to his nose and cupid's bow, "I look like a goddess."

Anxiety was smiling. Roman was grinning and Anxiety added a touch of peachy blush and kissed him, gently as to keep his lips intact. 

"Roman," Patton knocked before opening the door, "What are you up to in here?"

"Anxiety did my makeup and I am living for this." Roman turned to look at him. Patton screeched and bounced up and down.

"You look so cute. Anxiety, you're so good talented. You made your boyfriend look so lovely." He hugged both of them before becoming very serious, "I came in here for a reason. Don't get distracted. Anxiety, Logan is worried about being a good mom and you would make him so happy if you just told him he's decent at the very least. He needs it. Can you do that for your dear old dad? Please?"

"Yeah, I can do that. For sure." Anxiety shrugged.

"Thank you so much, I just want him to be happy. Don't tell him I told you to say that though. Roman you look like a beautiful glowing goddess. Pink was a good choice." He assured them with a grin, "Logan's taking a nap. I better go wake him up for dinner."

He walked quiety out, leaving the two alone. 

"Want to watch _The Little Mermaid_?" Anxiety asked.

"Please." Roman smiled and picked him up. He gently set him on the bed and climbed in next to him. They played the movie and both sang to every song, each with his own level of enthusiasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](https://youtu.be/aOX8wQs38kE) is the eye makeup that Roman has. It's by Glam and Gore. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsBjzStA0MjAtIE604HAqkoY-u79YNX5Z) is a playlist of her Glam looks if you're interested. Go check her out because she's adorable and bleeds talent. And because I feel like it, [this](https://youtu.be/-ge-qsodvfQ) is my personal favorite look she's done so far.


	4. Morality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did my very best to keep this all spoiler free, but it's all for pretty classic books, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
> 
> There also may or may not be a very awkward discussion about where babies come from.

"Hey, Mom." Anxiety knocked on the doorframe, even though the door was already open, "I just wanted to come and tell you that you're a really good mom to me. You do an awesome job, and you deserve a thank you."

"What? Where is this coming from?" Logan asked.

"I just think you don't get half the credit you deserve for putting up with me." Anxiety shrugged.

"Oh. Well, thank you for saying such kind words." Logan was stiff. Patton grinned, it meant his plan was working. Anxiety walked in the room and hugged Logan, making him blush.

"Thank you, Mom. I'll let you be with Dad." Anxiety walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Patton stood up from the desk to find tears forming in the corners of Logan's eyes, but otherwise his expression showed only shock.

"Sugarplum, are you okay?" Patton asked. 

"He told me I'm a good mom." Logan whispered. Morality smiled and hugged him.

"I told you you were." He kissed his cheek, "Pajama party time?"

Logan wiped his eyes and nodded.

~*~

Patton was curled up between Logan's legs, his favorite position ever. And Logan was making it even better. His arms were wrapped around him, holding the book of poems he was reading from. Both were in onesies, Patton is his kitty pajamas and Logan in his unicorn ones. Patton was sipping at his tea and absorbing Logan in. The scent of new books, coffee, and citrus. The sound of his deep voice's rhythmic speech and his heart beating in his chest. The feeling of his body heat surrounding him, the warmth of his mug in his mittened hands, and the softness of pajamas against his cheek. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to spoil his perfect moment with imperfect surroundings. Wrinkled sheets, dusty tables the clothes hamper in the corner. It ruined the bubble of safety they had created. Logan recited the last line of the poem, initiating a kiss from Patton. He tasted like cherry cola and warm pastries. 

Logan was always so confused by his craving for touch. Patton had always answered with a simple "because it makes me feel close to you." That was never the entire truth though. He had to be felt, to be touched, to feel someone's skin on his own. "Pain demands to be felt" was how the quote went, but it was true of all emotion, everything that Morality was. Emotion has to be felt, in every sense of the word. Logan was too uncomfortable with touch to feel him, so Patton forced himself to be felt. His hands, his lips, his arms, his head on Logan's chest. It wasn't malicious at all. Patton felt loved by being felt. If he wasn't being felt, it was like he didn't exist. He wasn't entirely sure why he never told Logan, it just never felt right for him to know. If he knew, he would force himself to touch, and it wouldn't feel genuine, so maybe that's why he never brought it up. 

"Sweetie pie, can we read something other than poems?" Patton asked. Logan shrugged, "Thank you."

He set his mug down before he crawled over to the side of the bed and pulled out a big cardboard box. He set it carefully in front of Logan and urged him to look for something he liked.

"What is this?" Logan asked.

"Are they not good? I have others, I just like these the best." Patton bit his lip. Logan picked through the books filling the box.

"Not at all. It's just unexpected." He shifted through the novels. _Where the Red Fern Grows_ , _The Book Thief_ , _The Boy in The Striped Pajamas_ , _Water for Elephants_ , _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_ , _Frankenstein_ , nearly every John Green book ever written, the _Maze Runner_ series, and dozens more.

"So you think they're all good books?" Patton fidgeted. Logan nodded.

"You've actually read all these?" Logan asked.

"Yeah." He was getting shyer and shyer as the conversation went on. Logan obviously didn't believe him, because he rapidly began quizzing him on events in the books. What happened when Victor destroyed the creature's bride (he said "I will be there on your wedding day" and went insane), why did Hazel go to support groups (because her mother thought she was depressed), what did Huck Finn and Tom want to be when they grew up (pirates and robbers).

"Oh my god." Logan's jaw dropped. He enveloped him in a tight hug, making Patton smile and nuzzle into him. Finally, he didn't need to initiate. 

"Pumpkin, I know you're excited, but I kind of want to just talk with you and kiss you for hours." Patton said into the soft, white fabric on Logan's chest.

"What do you want to talk about?" Logan asked. He was blushing just a little, but he set the box back under the bed. Patton gently pushed him back onto the bed so he could lay on top of him, chest to chest. Logan's fingers threaded through his hair.

"I don't know. What makes eyes different colors?" PattonMorality asked.

"Well, technically all eyes are brown. We see them as different colors because of something called melanin, it pigments the skin, hair, and eyes. The more melanin in your eyes, the darker they look. But that just covers the shades of brown, sometimes the way the light hits your eyes changes and makes them look blue or green." Logan explained. 

"Why are guys gay?" Patton asked innocently, Logan rolled his eyes, "No really, I'm serious."

"Well, most likely it's because of the mother attacking the embryo with less testosterone while she's pregnant. The theory is that it glitches the brain enough to make it just slightly more feminine making it find men attractive instead of women. The glitch must be pretty common and not very harmful, because most animals have some homosexual tendencies." Logan was so good at explaining things. Patton melted with each word, "Patton, why do you read so many books. It's not for knowledge-sake so why?"

"What does Thomas think about when he thinks about books he likes?" Patton started.

"His favorite parts usually." Logan shrugged.

"The feelings those books made for him. The laughing and crying and how much it made his heart jump into his throat. I'm in charge of feelings so I get to take care of all the emotions he had, good and bad. Just like those books made him think about the endless possibilities of knowledge and philosophy, they made him feel too. Novels aren't purely practical in nature." Patton sat up to explain. His hands were placed on Logan's chest, his knees around his hips. His hair fell in his eyes. He smiled softly and felt Logan's sharp intake of air beneath his hands. He bit his lip.

"You're so lovely." Logan placed a hand on his cheek. Patton nuzzled into his hand, carefully placing his own over it. 

"You're a sweetheart, Logan." Patton bit his lip, "But I have one more question."

"And what's that?" Logan tilted his head.

"Where do babies come from?" Patton asked. Logan choked on his own spit and turned red, "Are you okay?"

"You're just full of surprises today aren't you?" Logan tried to calm himself down. 

"Are you smart enough to tell me, honey bunch?" Patton crossed his arms.

"Well, uhm, mothers and fathers have special cells in their bodies that only have half the DNA they need. So when a father's sperm combines with a mother's egg, they combine into a full cell. This cell multiplies until it's a ball of cells and eventually a baby. And the baby gets bigger and bigger for 9 months until the mother gives birth to that baby." Logan wasn't telling him everything, Patton could tell. He decided the best way to get the information, was to ask as many questions as he could.

"Where are the eggs?" Patton decided to start with.

"In her uterus."

"Where's that?" Patton asked. Logan bit his lip and pointed to the spot just above where Patton's pants sat.

"Only biological women have uteruses though. Except in very special cases. And it's inside their stomachs." Logan clarified. Patton nodded.

"Well how does the sperm get there then?" This whole thing was very confusing to him, but the blush on Logic's face never left, so it had to be something very rewarding to know.

"Uhm, I assume you've had an orgasm?" Logan sat up, leaning back against the headboard. Patton stayed on his lap, placing his arms around his neck. He nodded, "The, uhm, white, sticky stuff is where the sperm is."

"That doesn't answer my-oh." Patton suddenly figured out why Logan was so shy about the whole thing. Logan nodded, biting his lip. 

"That's why I sat up. It felt suggestive to be lying down." Logan told him. He was fidgeting more than usual. Patton held his hands to keep them from moving so much. Logan laced their fingers together and began to rub his thumb over Patton's knuckles. Patton knew it was more to have something to do with his hands than to be affectionate. Patton was thinking, about something very particular, not just for the fun of it. He was thinking about a question he'd been wanting to ask for too long now. He considered the wording, took deep breath, and blurted it out.

"Do you want to make a baby?" He asked. The blood drained out of Logan's face, his hands started shaking. Patton was flustering him. He started muttering about the multiple impossibilities the pair would have with procreation. Patton kissed him.

"We can't have a baby." He finally said when Patton pulled away.

"Can we pretend we can and try anyway?" He shifted a little bit closer, "Please?"

"I apologize in advance for my bluntness, but are you asking if we can have sex?" Logan seemed shocked at the mere suggestion. Patton nodded shyly.

"Is that okay?" He was sure that he ruined the whole moment. The silence felt like it lasted for hours. Patton was about to stand and walk back to his room and sob because he messed everything up, as usual. He was swallowing back tears when he saw the microscopic nod from Logan. He thought he imagined it, but he saw his head bounce with more confidence. 

"Yeah. Yeah, we can." Logan smiled. Patton grinned and tackled him in a hug, kissing him roughly. He didn't care if it didn't feel very nice, the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders and that's all that mattered, "Calm down, Patton. We should talk it over first, okay?"

"Okay." Patton couldn't stop the smile from growing on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All these theories are actual real theories. Don't get upset because I said being gay is feminine. Gay men's brains are literally built more like women's brains than straight men's. I am gay trans guy, and this fact doesn't offend me, so I will tell you to calm down before I get dozens of comments telling me I was offensive.


End file.
